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Im 20 years old now but when I was 12, I was sexually Assaulted while visiting my Hometown. When I was 12, I had an odd sense of how I viewed love and attraction. For example, while visiting my hometown I often went out with a friend who knew many of the kids who also grew up there. She introduced me to a group of boys who were either family or family friends. I tried to be nice but they just kept putting their hands on me every chance they got. Even thought I knew it was wrong and felt kinda uncomfortable, I tried to like it and think maybe they think im beautiful or that im desirable. But that night one of the boys convinced me to get food with him. It was common for food stands to be in the alleys because the roads were very crowded with people. I went but there were no food stands, just a dimly lit alleyway. Before I knew it, I was pinned and he assaulted me. I felt like I left my body just trying to blank out everything. When it was done he left first and I was trying to process what happened. Prior to this, I didn’t know what sex was or even seen boys exposed. I walked out alone and saw my mom sitting with the other women there. I didn’t tell her. I never told her. I was too scared and ashamed. At one point I tried to turn it around and think maybe this was okay and Im finally a “grown up now” but no matter what, I kept coming back to how I just froze, I didn’t like it and it wasn’t okay. I tried to tell my mom when I turned 18 but i didn’t tell her the full truth. I just told her about the groping to see what she would say or think. She got upset and said “Don’t let boys do that or they’ll think you’re easy.” That really shattered me so I didn’t end up telling her the rest. I’ve pretty much kept it to myself for about 8 years now. And recently, I learned that he died in a motorcycle accident while on his way to work. He got hit by a truck. When my family heard, they were sad for him and his family. I wasn’t angry at them, they didn’t know. And i felt pretty conflicted because I wouldn’t wish this on anyone but I still couldn’t get over what happened. I just want to move on and maybe gather the courage to share this with my family someday. If not, im glad I shared it here. This is the first time I heard about this movement and my first time sharing it. Im glad I finally let it out.

Survivante de viol collectif Je rendis visite a ma tante, un soir des cousins m’invitèrent a aller danser en boite de nuit ; des amis de mes cousins étaient venus nous trouver là, nous avons danser, rit, bu et partager des sandwiches. Vers les couts de trois heures du matin, je sortis pour prendre de l’air quand un des amis me trouva a la porte, il était sorti pour fumer, alors nous avons papoter un moment. Il me proposa de marcher dans les alentours de la discothèque Un autre ami nous rejoignit ensuite un deuxième, et finalement, cinq sans savoir ce qui se tramait entre eux, je les suivis car nous avons été très proches depuis leur venu etc. Arrivée, dans un ravin, un des cinq enleva sa chemise et l’étala sur sa chemise qu’il avait enlevé soi-disant avoir chaud, quand l’autre me terrassait. Avant même que je ne m’en rende compte, ils se sont appelés et sont passer sur moi les uns après les autres. Un a un, ces cinq hommes me sont passer dessus, ils m’ont souillé, ont bafouiller ma dignité de femme et de personne humaine. Malgré mes supplications, mes cris de détresse et désespoir, car oui, chaque coup de rein transperçait ma dignité tel un coup de couteau. Mais aucun, pas un seul d’entre eux n’y a été sensible, personne ne s’est arrêté. Pendant qu’ils s’appelaient, tels des amis qui s’invitent les uns les autres, j’ai réussi a capter quelques prénoms : trois au total parmi les cinq. Du lieu des faits, je me suis rendu a la police, je leur ai expliquer les faits, j’étais a la quête de justice. Mais les quelques questions qui m’ont été posées par la police m’ont encore plus transpercer le cœur… Le policier qui s’occupait de mon écoute me demanda avec des airs menaçants : • -est ce qu’une fille de bonne mœurs peut se trouver au dehors à cette heure ? • C’est arriver où ? • -sais tu que cette tenue que tu portes est provocative ? • -est ce t’as première fois de faire un rapport sexuel ? Je n’en croyais pas mes oreilles, je restais figée et très déterminée je ne me suis pas découragé, j’ai continué la procédure jusqu’à ce que justice soit faite. Le dégoût, ma colère était d’une intensité que je ne saurais nommé. Et pour la première fois, dans ma vie, j’ai compris comment un être humain pouvait ôter la vie à un autre. Parce que oui, je ressentais de la haine, parce que oui, mes bourreaux représentaient un problème dont il fallait que je me débarrasse. Pour ma reconstruction, il a fallu un accompagnement psychologique au niveau des hôpitaux et émotionnel au niveau de la famille et morale dans les groupe de discussion entre survivantes.

I grew up thinking that my body was not my own. I experienced child sexual assault and rape all before the age of 14 and that shaped how I viewed my body and the world around me. It took years, almost a decade, before I would seek therapy and try to start my healing journey. I felt so disgusting in my own body and it made it hard for me to have romantic relationships. Therapy has really been helpful and sometimes I still feel that discomfort in my body but I am learning everyday that what happened to me is not my fault. I also have grown to learn that there are bad people out here and that there is nothing that I did to deserve what happened to me. Although my abuser is free to roam the world as if he didn't harm me and my rapist is free to live his life as if he didn't rape me -- I find peace in knowing that I am healing despite what they did to me.

What happened to me occurred back on date, although I met this guy back in 2018 where I was in my early 20's & he was in his mid-20's. I've seen him on the bus on my way to school, but didn't really talked to him until he initiated a conversation with me back in date where our public transportation rides & friendship started. Overtime, I've grown to get used to him being around & bump into him a few times while going to school & going back home since we would go the same direction back & forth although we would later be in the same university after I transferred from cc. Once we got comfortable with each other, I developed feelings for him when I didn't want to for fear of being hurt. Once we got to hanging out outside of school & public transportation, his behavior towards me changed once I opened up about myself & also tried to get to know him as well. Looking back, it started out as harassment where he would force me to kiss him even though he only wanted to be my friend back in Nov. of 2019. I didn't know it would later get worse after trying to hangout with him again back in Dec of that same year after telling him my feelings. He never took it seriously & only wanted one thing after dealing with disappointments from past relationships while wanting something more casual, which he wasn't clear about through his mis-matched words & actions. That night then became my worst nightmare since he had no regards for my feelings or boundaries. That night I felt violated since he would called it a "hangout" when it was really🍇. It was my first intimate encounter, but it wasn't out of my own freewill. After graduating, life became more rough & the journey to move forward from the pain was difficult since I've been stuck trying to get a jump start on my career ever since. Currently, I'm seeking therapy to find ways to cope with what happened to me on this rough path to survivorship. Had I had known what would happen...I would've avoided him at all costs & in turn, avoided my trauma.

Welcome to Florida ?! I am a NYer, born and bread, and having relocated to Tampa makes me truly realize what being a resilient feminist NYer really means! I never thought in my Wildest Nightmares that making a fresh start on my own in a new state would be the most horrifying experience of police brutality and sexual violence a woman could ever endure. Shattered Humanity!!! Scare tactics, threats, emotional abuse and trauma have been my experience from day 1 and it has been relentless. My only saving grace is my work as a corporate executive from NYC which is backed by a 30 year career. In spite of my horrific adversities, I have accomplished, going forward, becoming a writer/author, podcaster, women's rights activist and elementary/special needs teacher. All of which I am immensely proud of. Just to bring you up to scope, I was Baker Acted twice by the police, first time for demanding a rape kit and the second time for advocating for it. And here I am, 2 rape kits later and having survived an extended period of time being sexually assaulted and brutalized in my home. The Intentional Emotional Abuse inflicted upon me at the hands of my rapist from the start has been unspeakable. Their has never been any justice from the corruption I have endured, no matter how many lawyers I've reached out to in order to plead my case whether based in Florida or New York. I refuse to come to terms with the fact that my assailant/rapist will never be stopped. He is still at large, has may other victims besides myself, some of whom I happen to know, works in law enforcement, and is protected by those in uniform. He is hacked into all of my technology and tracks my every move. My home security system is barricading my front door with 5 dining room chairs so he can not break in and rape me in my sleep like has has done countless times before. His daily torments bring me to tears constantly and I have been hospitalized in emergency for chronic chest pains and abdominal pain several times a month from all the stress and anxiety of my situation. I've also had 2 gynecological surgeries due to the aftermath of what he has done to me. For any woman who has endured this type of intentional mental cruelty, sexual violence, intimidation and exploitation, my deepest sympathies and prayers to you. Know that you are NOT ALONE. My advice to you is never give up on yourself, be relentless in telling your story AND NEVER EVER GIVE UP YOUR POWER. You are a HUMAN BEING and you Deserve to be RESPECTED and TREASURED. Thank you for listening. God Speed.