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Survivor story
🤝🏽The night that changed my life🤝🏽
Original story
Message to a Survivor
To the survivor that's going through this healing journey & feels alone, Never stop living your life after what had happened to you & continue to chase your dreams & goals! 💌 -From one survivor to another 🫴🏽
Message of Healing
Healing means continuing to live my life despite what had happened to me.
What happened to me occurred back on date, although I met this guy back in 2018 where I was in my early 20's & he was in his mid-20's. I've seen him on the bus on my way to school, but didn't really talked to him until he initiated a conversation with me back in date where our public transportation rides & friendship started. Overtime, I've grown to get used to him being around & bump into him a few times while going to school & going back home since we would go the same direction back & forth although we would later be in the same university after I transferred from cc. Once we got comfortable with each other, I developed feelings for him when I didn't want to for fear of being hurt. Once we got to hanging out outside of school & public transportation, his behavior towards me changed once I opened up about myself & also tried to get to know him as well. Looking back, it started out as harassment where he would force me to kiss him even though he only wanted to be my friend back in Nov. of 2019. I didn't know it would later get worse after trying to hangout with him again back in Dec of that same year after telling him my feelings. He never took it seriously & only wanted one thing after dealing with disappointments from past relationships while wanting something more casual, which he wasn't clear about through his mis-matched words & actions. That night then became my worst nightmare since he had no regards for my feelings or boundaries. That night I felt violated since he would called it a "hangout" when it was really🍇. It was my first intimate encounter, but it wasn't out of my own freewill. After graduating, life became more rough & the journey to move forward from the pain was difficult since I've been stuck trying to get a jump start on my career ever since. Currently, I'm seeking therapy to find ways to cope with what happened to me on this rough path to survivorship. Had I had known what would happen...I would've avoided him at all costs & in turn, avoided my trauma.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.