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Survivor story
You Deserve Respect ♀️
Original story
Welcome to Florida ?! I am a NYer, born and bread, and having relocated to Tampa makes me truly realize what being a resilient feminist NYer really means! I never thought in my Wildest Nightmares that making a fresh start on my own in a new state would be the most horrifying experience of police brutality and sexual violence a woman could ever endure. Shattered Humanity!!! Scare tactics, threats, emotional abuse and trauma have been my experience from day 1 and it has been relentless. My only saving grace is my work as a corporate executive from NYC which is backed by a 30 year career. In spite of my horrific adversities, I have accomplished, going forward, becoming a writer/author, podcaster, women's rights activist and elementary/special needs teacher. All of which I am immensely proud of. Just to bring you up to scope, I was Baker Acted twice by the police, first time for demanding a rape kit and the second time for advocating for it. And here I am, 2 rape kits later and having survived an extended period of time being sexually assaulted and brutalized in my home. The Intentional Emotional Abuse inflicted upon me at the hands of my rapist from the start has been unspeakable. Their has never been any justice from the corruption I have endured, no matter how many lawyers I've reached out to in order to plead my case whether based in Florida or New York. I refuse to come to terms with the fact that my assailant/rapist will never be stopped. He is still at large, has may other victims besides myself, some of whom I happen to know, works in law enforcement, and is protected by those in uniform. He is hacked into all of my technology and tracks my every move. My home security system is barricading my front door with 5 dining room chairs so he can not break in and rape me in my sleep like has has done countless times before. His daily torments bring me to tears constantly and I have been hospitalized in emergency for chronic chest pains and abdominal pain several times a month from all the stress and anxiety of my situation. I've also had 2 gynecological surgeries due to the aftermath of what he has done to me. For any woman who has endured this type of intentional mental cruelty, sexual violence, intimidation and exploitation, my deepest sympathies and prayers to you. Know that you are NOT ALONE. My advice to you is never give up on yourself, be relentless in telling your story AND NEVER EVER GIVE UP YOUR POWER. You are a HUMAN BEING and you Deserve to be RESPECTED and TREASURED. Thank you for listening. God Speed.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.